A challenge - Not a Cop Out

As David and I reviewed the previous posts I am admittedly a bit, no really overwhelmed, by the length and narratives posted here. It feels daunting to me to be “up next” with David and I am conscience of not wanting to let him or you down! Yet I am not in a place where I feel compelled or able to offer something as reflective and insightful has those previously posted. I am grateful for David’ s wisdom which guided him in talking me down off the ceiling with saying how important it is for us as a community to create a place where everyone can find a way to contribute. So our way of inviting you to contribute this week is to ask you to pick up on the common theme offered by a combination of comments made by Dawn and Dave:
Go to a place where there will be new people in the environment and sit back and observe how the new people are picking up social and contextual clues and the norms: how are they being perceived by the regulars. A couple of ideas; a coffee shop, a public bus, a public library, a faith community experience.
Let us all know what you learned from you observations and how it can guide our work with students.

Renee & David C

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

So I wanted to write a little bit about not only why I wanted to become a CA, but what I want to do in that role as well, which is to broaden the experiences of those around me beyond the campus bubble that I know I find myself living in a good deal of the time.

I have had probably the best experience at CMU that I could have hoped to have in my four years in college, as a student, a resident, and an RA. It has been absolutely terrific and I wanted to try to pass that along and help a house full of students, residents, and RAs as best I can. That being said, one thing I find myself wishing I had more of is a connection with areas all over Pittsburgh, not just Oakland.

The reason I've been thinking about this lately is that I just finished reading a book called The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon. It's the story of a recent Pitt grad and his first post-graduation summer in the city. It was really fantastic and part of the reason I enjoyed it so much was because it took place in the Oakland/Shadyside neighborhoods and described landmarks that I was familiar with throughout the story. It really got me thinking, though, as it described the streets and neighborhoods of Pittsburgh, that even though I know a certain radius around CMU's campus really well, I don't know other areas like Mount Washington or Point Breeze or even trails in Schenley Park as well as I probably should for having lived in the city now for three years.

I spent this past semester in London and at the end of the semester I reflected on whether or not I considered myself to have really lived in London. That is, whether I took advantage of everything I could while I was there or whether I had just spent four months in the city doing nothing more than going about my daily routine. I ultimately decided that it varied from week to week. The first few weeks there I took advantage of everything I could and went all over the city. Towards the middle, as the weather got worse and I settled into the city, I fell into a routine and didn't do all that I could have done in the city. The last few weeks I was there, though, as I began to realize I was leaving and probably wouldn't be back for a long time (and as the weather got nice) I started again going out to random underground stops with friends and walking around the neighborhoods they opened up to. One of the best things I did during those last weeks, though, was to go on a self-charted graffiti tour to see as much of Banksy's work as I could find. It was amazing and I felt as though just by walking some of those backstreets and looking at the artwork of unnamed Londoners scrawled on walls and under bridges that I was connecting with the city in a way I hadn't before.

That's why my goal for this upcoming year, potentially my last in Pittsburgh, is to get out and connect with the city like I was able to connect with London in my last few weeks there. I think of Pittsburgh as a home but I want to know it as best I can before I leave it. So I'm going to take day-trips and walk to places I haven't been yet and familiarize myself with parts of the city I don't know all that well.

And I want to take my residents along and encourage a connection for them, too. I want to look for service opportunities away from CMU's campus, for restaurants not on Forbes Avenue or Craig Street, for running routes that don't lead to the Cathedral of Learning. I want to encourage a connection with the city as I build on my own, so that they really feel comfortable in Pittsburgh, as that can make a huge difference in whether or not you enjoy your time at CMU.

I guess the takeaway from this post is that I think, as house leaders, we really should be striving not only to create a community within our houses and within our campus, but to broaden the experience that all of our residents and RAs have around the greater Pittsburgh area and in any other way we can. To really expand their focus to all the opportunities they have while they're in college, especially being in a city as accessible as Pittsburgh. The best way I can think to do that is by example, and I hope to be able to do that this year.

You Dont Have To Be In Front To Lead The Pack

I remember sitting in my graduate class a little over a year ago, which now based on the eventful year we have had at the university feels like ages ago, reviewing theories of leadership. Up until the mid way point in the class we discussed over and over again the qualities that are associated with leadership. Trait theory, Psychological Theory, Relational Theory, all of which attempted to explain in detail how individuals can become leaders. Individuals. When we think of leadership we usually think of a lone person. A person with a certain intelligence and/or charisma that qualifies him/her to captain the ship that carries our personal and professional wants and needs. We depend on these leaders to set a vision for us, and sometimes tell us what we should expect from ourselves. Kind of funny, because when you say it out loud it sounds kind of ridiculous.

However, this day in class was different. We had begun reading a new book by Peter Senge called the 5th Discipline. The primary focus of the book discusses the development and cultivation of what he calls learning organization. He argues that in order for an institution of any capacity to flourish that it must create an environment where the constituents, the people, constantly feel the need to learn and develop at every level. And not only is their added emphasis on learning but there is a responsibility to teach and help shape and inform the perspective of others. Out of this ideology comes the SHARED LEADERSHIP theory.

Shared Leadership theory basically argues that leadership is not dependent on what a leader does as much as it is what people do together. This concept takes the context of leadership out of the realm of positions and deposits it into the context of behavior. Leadership is not what you are It’s what you do. He argues that actions that help the group to achieve and move forward are what constitute leadership.

This idea really threw me for a loop. Clearly in any organization or at any university institution there has to be a clear cut leader. We need someone to make the tough decisions, and to guide our approach. Right? I see now that this method of thinking may have been a cop out. This was my way of surrendering my stake in the vision of my university community. Choosing to be a blind follower. This theory was my proverbial red pill.

I began to see myself as a leader in every context. Not only in positions that embedded "leader" in the job description, but in the classroom, the weight room, even within my family. The concept of social leadership was a powerful one to me because I felt it gave me increased authorship and influence of my life experience. But there where rules to how to do this. At least according to Senge.

The first rule being that a leader must operate from an ethical standpoint. And since this is social leadership the leader must be inclusive meaning that all people can share in the leadership process), and elevating (meaning that leadership must seek to better the group). Leadership must always be made using sound ethical judgment. Failure to do so leads to deceit, corruption and can create an abuse of power. (Cough *Hitler* Cough). All of which can be extremely detrimental to the group. This concept has been subject to much debate and I hope that it at least sparks conversation as to whether or not you feel it is mandatory for a leader to be ethical.

Secondly, a leader must have a sense of Ownership. This was my favorite part of this theory. The concept of ownership was important to me because this is why I feel this theory is so powerful. Having affirmed your ownership over a certain issue, it now becomes your responsibility to correct. However, depending on how big the issue is there can be multiple stake holders so it is also your responsibility to bring those individuals to the table and affirm for them their stake in the problem. Once people take ownership of an issue there is less individual burden and more support.

Thirdly, is the notion of learning. Learning to Senge means the practice of understanding of different things in the world needed for people to flourish. As a leader you must be willing to learn. Learning in the sense of becoming wiser and having a better understanding of the world around you. Learning is something that you do for others and with others. This concept helps to reinforce this notion of reciprocal leadership.

And lastly, a leadership involves sharing. Leaders are willing to be open and authentic with other members of a group. They seek to develop trust, respect, appreciation and concern for others. Having these values established helps to remind members of the group that leadership is based on interconnectedness.

Essentially what Senge has outlined are the principles for Democracy. However, in this democratic representation it is the responsibility for all stake holders to be informed, act ethically, value communication, and takes ownership of all issues. If only real democracy was that simple.

Basically, I say that to say this. As individuals at the institution who have been exalted as leaders in the CA position it is your responsibility to make sure that you are maximizing not only your potential but the potential of those individuals that you are working with. Having a title commands a sense of entitlement and presents a level of authority, but the most amazing work will in your residence halls will occur when the entire building takes ownership of creating a life changing experience. When every student feels like that have a voice, and when all members of the community are acting in response for what is best for the building and best for the CMU community. Learn from them as they learn from you. I would encourage you to be a facilitator of leadership behavior.

As a great man once said "You guys may not know this, but I consider myself…a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So were two…so there was two of us in the pack. I…I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.

And 6 months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys. I thought…wait a second, could it be. And now I know for sure, I just added 2 more guys to my wolf pack."

Its better to lead with people and share the burden, than to lead for the people and shoulder the burden. Your never gonna find Doug on your own.

Greater than yourself

Hi everyone! It is my turn to try to spark some thoughts and conversation. :)

Some of the things on my mind lately (at least those worthy of sharing) come from a book that I was given at a conference back in December. The fact that I got the book in December and it is less than 200 pages long and I only read it recently is not something I am particularly proud of but, well, life has a way of getting in the way of my reading list from time to time. I digress, back to the book which is called Greater than yourself: The ultimate lesson of true leadership and is written by Steve Farber. To be honest the story in the book is a little on the cheesy side but the concept of the book really has me thinking. The general gist is this: True leadership is about extending and offering yourself to others with the express purpose of elevating that person above you (i.e. greater than yourself or GTY). This may be a little hard to swallow at first but it is an interesting idea to really contemplate so read the sentence again and indulge me.

According to Farber the ultimate act of leadership is not to develop those who will replace us but rather to develop those who will actually surpass our own accomplishments. While this might seem a little threatening at first and may be a little tough on the ego I think this really connects with the work that we do as CAs and HFs (and RAs and faculty and lots of other folks). The book identifies a sort of 3 step progression that serves as a foundation for the GTY philosophy so I’ll describe that here and give you something on which to respond.

The first step in the GTY journey is expanding yourself – how can you help others to expand if you aren’t seeking new knowledge and skills yourself? Ok, so this is something I expect most of us will nod our heads to…life-long learning, intellectual curiosity, try new things, be well rounded…sure, nothing too mind blowing there.

The next step gets a little more difficult though and involves giving of yourself. This is where my selfish meter starting beeping, I’ll be honest. I mean, I’m a busy person and what does this Farber guy really want from me? I try not to be a selfish person but I also don’t want to be a doormat and get used and left behind. If I’m giving and giving to others then who is looking out for me? This is where I think Farber does really nice job in reminding his readers that leadership is NOT a zero sum game and that he isn’t saying give of yourself to the detriment of yourself. Rather he describes his thoughts on personal philanthropy. He says: “Leave the big money contributions to the Gates’ and Buffett’s of the world. The rest of us can give our talent, time, knowledge, contacts – whatever resources we have- to other worthy people in our lives at work and at home. We can act instead of just watching others act…” (p. 123). “To philanthropize your life then first means developing a radar of sorts. It’s about growing your sensibility to the needs of others and cultivating your desire to promote their welfare…their capacity for achievement.” (p. 123-124). Thinking of it this way reminded me that it isn’t like Bill and Melinda are living in poverty just because they are writing checks for millions of dollars…they give what they can give which happens to be a LOT of freaking money but they also still have plenty left for themselves. I need to first take stock of what I have that might be valuable to others (it isn’t money, trust me) and then figure out where best I might be able to invest those resources to help others.

The final phase of the GTY process is the expectation that you replicate the desire to create GTY leaders in others. The people that you are investing in should know, explicitly, that you are invested in their success and that you want them to invest in others. The one thing that you should ask of those that you might be able to help is that they try to do the same for someone else.

Alright, so this is getting long and I want to wrap up but there are a lot of passages in this book that I underlined and dog-eared along the way. Some of those I cited above but here are a few more for you to chew on. I would really love to hear people’s thoughts/criticism/connections/questions so don’t be shy (Ashlie).

“Self expansion is a perpetual enterprise. And because it is the foundation of whatever you do for others, expanding yourself is the furthest thing from selfishness. You expand yourself in order to give yourself to others.” (p. 40).

“I’ve come to see that limited opportunity – at work or anywhere else- is more illusion than reality. An illusion that we perpetuate by believing that success is a zero sum game. Simply put, my helping to launch you ahead of myself does not put me farther behind.” (p. 67).

“You promote another’s welfare by opening up the door to your personal inventory and helping them to make the best use of it. And you’re not donating to a needy person so much as to a worthy person.” (p. 122).

“I’m not trying to hire people who are more talented than I am; I’m trying to hire people with heart, desire, drive and mad potential, and then encourage all of them to bring out the best in one another by giving fully to one another. See the difference?” (p. 126).

“The vast majority of people want to grow, to thrive, to contribute, to make a difference. Those are the people I want to encourage, to cultivate, to build and expand my company around. I’m not going to operate my business based on the lowest common denominator.” (p. 127).

“I’m always looking for someone I can personally invest in, someone who will grow specifically from what I have to offer.” (p. 127).

Ok, so the conclusion for real...Part of the reason that I wanted to share this book and concept with the CA/HF group is because I think these are things that we do but they may not be something that we are really intentional about doing. I have had the privilege of being someone’s “project” on a couple of occasions and I have to say, it was FABULOUS! Feeling like there was someone that I admired who wanted to help me was a great confidence booster and pushed me to be better and do more. I also have a lot of pride in folks that I have made my own “projects” over the years and I know what a great feeling it is to see people discover their potential and achieve great things. I’d be interested in hearing stories from others as well as your thoughts about how we might do these things more intentionally and encourage it in our staffs and house communities.

All the best,

Holly

Farber, S. (2009). Greater than yourself: The ultimate lesson of true leadership. New York: Doubleday.

Razzy Fresh Thoughts

I just want to start out by saying razzy fresh is the greatest place on the planet. Possibly better than starbucks. I think it is safe to say if you ever need the Donner HF or CA, just go to razzy fresh.

I'm going to try to keep this short, as it appears the short people (dawn) are trying to compensate by writing novels. Everything that everyone has said so far is definitely enlightening, and I'm glad Luther found his way into this some how. He's everywhere. Though a brief summary does not really do the previous posts justice, I think a big takeaway from all of them is the idea of being comfortable in the skin you're in. Take advantage of your strengths in order to be a leader, which will help you be yourself.

I want to provide another way to think about meeting people too, which is one of the reasons I wanted to become a CA. It's the idea of taking a step back sometimes. Most of the people you are going to meet (especially at CMU) have the hidden potential to be a leader somewhere inside of them. I consider myself to be a decently outgoing individual, and sometimes I forget that that can be overbearing for some people. I like going out of my way to say hi to random people I'm passing on the sidewalk, making friends that work at places I frequent (ie Starbucks) and just putting myself on other people's radar in general. It makes it easier for other people to open up to me as well, since initially meeting someone is sometimes pretty difficult or awkward.

Unfortunately, I sometimes forget that other people may also be entirely capable of introducing themselves to me, and they may do it differently. Sometimes people may want to say something to you, but if you command the conversation too much, they may not get an opportunity to share themselves, while you meanwhile are doing a lot of sharing of yourself. And sometimes it may mean a lot to that person that they had the courage to speak up and say something to you first.

Cute story obviously needed: About six years ago I was skiing at a local resort near Rochester, my homeland. I was by myself at the time and just kind of standing in line at the ski lift, waiting to get on. All of a sudden the person standing in line next to me poked me on the shoulder. Up till then I didn't even know she was there...she couldn't have been more than seven or eight years old. So I just kind of turned and said Hi, to which she said 'I just wanted to let you know you have really pretty eyes'.

Minus the fact I was flattered that someone thought I had pretty eyes, I was more taken aback by the fact this little girl had enough courage to just randomly tell someone who was at least twice her age something as personal as that, let alone muster up the courage to just say Hi or something.

So I guess I have two thoughts from this. The first is, don't underestimate people. You'd be surprised at how willing to talk about stuff people can be so long as you come off as a conversationalist on some basic level. I've found this applies a lot to my residents. I've learned so much from them by just introducing myself and just letting them talk. The second thought relates directly to that and what I was saying in the beginning. Sometimes you need to set aside who you are for half an hour or so so you can appreciate the other person. You may be really excited about music, sharing some exciting thing you did, or quickly finding something in common with a stranger and wanting to tell about your interest. However, take a step back. Let other people 'show off' their potential to be a leader too. That's why I wanted to be a CA. I wanted to learn how to better develop the potential in others, and one of the easiest ways is just giving them the opportunity, and there is no easier way than just simple conversation.

That was actually pretty long, sorry. Hope everyone's summer is going well!

--Evan

I like this blog!

Hi all,


I like this blog; what a great start it's gotten off on! Thanks to Angie and the other HF's for kicking it off :).


I've connected with things that Lucas, Shernell, and Chris have all talked about, so hopefully I can collect my thoughts enough to bring it all home in the post.


I've been out in San Diego for the past few weeks, and will be out here until the end of July. I've met a lot of new people, as well as new types of people, and tried some new experiences.


I like what Lucas said about how he's all about music, and that he is proud to share with others what it genuinely reflects about him. 


When you are first getting to know people, say like when you are starting a new job, or joining a new organization, people will gravitate towards certain topics that generally they can find some common ground on. Arguably, a couple of the most popular topics are: music and sports. For me, I pretty much know nothing about either of the two topics, and what I do know I've realized I shouldn't brag about. For instance with music, I only know top 40 hits that are played on repeat on the radio, so that you end up hating the song within 2 weeks of its release. And with sports....ummm anyone wanna talk about figure-skating?


So these two topics have been a barrier for me whenever I start working with new groups of people. And I've often found myself in groups with lots of males, so when they get started talking about sports, I'm completely lost, and feel left out in the corner. But a couple of weeks ago, I was at a team cycle meeting at my internship which was meant to go all day from 7 am to 3 pm. In other circumstances, I'd probably be blanking out at several points during this long stretch, but my manager Vince was so great at infusing in stories about sports of all things, that kept me completely fixated and inspired. Strange. 


One story that he used was about the Tigers pitcher. The pitcher almost pitched a perfect game, but the ump called his last one safe, costing him the rare achievement. Vince asked the team what kind of look we expected the pitcher would have when the ump made that call. Most people said upset, disappointed, pissed off, but Vince says that pictures after showed that the pitcher was smiling. After the game, the pitcher said that he had played his very best, so there was nothing to regret, and that he only had more games in the future to look forward to. 


Vince also tied this into a personal experience he had with his 8-yr old son who lost a championship game in little league baseball. His son was asking him "Dad, I played my very best, but we still lost. Why?" And even when Vince was re-telling the story he was getting a little choked up, but he said he told his son that "Even when you do your best, sometimes you still don't win the game". 


And then he tied it into our work meeting by saying that every day you can look in the mirror and you can ask yourself "did I do my best today", and you can either answer yes or no. And that all he wanted from us was for us to just go out and do our best. This really hit me in a strong way, because no matter what the outcome of doing your best is, no one can take away the integrity that is instilled in you from it. 


For me this ties into several of the ingredients that Shernell talks about, including #2, about helping others find meaning in what you ask them to do. 


Change of topic - since I've been out in San Diego, I've started surfing! I've been out 4x, and am still a humble beginner, but I've definitely made some strides. For me surfing is definitely a new thing that takes me out of my comfort zone mainly because of one big reason. I don't like the water. I've never liked swimming, or going to the beach. When I was a little girl and my mom put me in swimming lessons, I refused to jump in the deep end even with floaties on AND a noodle. Aaaannnd it doesn't help that I'm vertically challenged because  "waist-deep" in the water for normal folk equates to shoulder-deep for me; you throw in some tempestuous waves in there, and ahhh scary-ness!


Surfing is hard! It's hard on many levels, but for me probably what was hardest is that I take a very technical approach to things (thanks CMU). My surfing instructor David said that this made me a good student because he could tell that I was listening and trying to implement all the things he taught me. But at the same time I had so many processes going on in my head, plus the fear of being swallowed up by the waves, plus being self-conscious that I looked like a complete dufus,  that it was just mayhem in my head. But one thing that David said to me that really helped give me a breakthrough was that "Hey, at least you're out here trying it. There's so many people that have lived by the beach all their life and have still never been in the water trying to do the things that we're doing now. But you're out here, and no you don't look cool, but you're trying and you haven't given up, and that's very cool. Pound it". So we pounded it (they do that a lot out here), and I tried to put some of the thoughts in my head to rest. 


Long post, sorry! - dawn

Learning Life Lessons from Lesbians

I thought it might be nice to start out by taking the advice of the 5th ingredient in Shernell's recipe: Never be afraid to share of yourself.


Last week was "pride week" in Boston, and my good friend invited me to go to a pride event with her at a club on Saturday night. I'm not much of a "club" person, but I figured it could be fun. I like new experiences and meeting new and different people. She also mentioned that it was mainly a lesbian event, but I didn't think much of it...until Saturday afternoon. She had sent me a link about the event that I had previously forgotten about, but because I was feeling a bit nervous, I went through my facebook messages and opened it up. The event was called "Dyke Night" and the webpage had tons of pictures - about 99% of them with only females.

I freaked out.

I told my friend I couldn't go with her and imagined myself as a creepy straight dude sitting in a corner, trespassing in a place where I didn't belong. I would be awkward, not have any fun, and would even waste $15 on the cover. On top of that, people would probably think I was there because of some screwed up lesbian fetish. They wouldn't want me there, and wouldn't want to be there - this would be zero fun for all parties involved.

My friend was disappointed, but said she understood. She has only been "out" for a few years and doesn't have that many glbt friends. She explained to me that she was attempting to learn about the culture and meet some people who could better relate to issues that she has had to deal with. She is the only lesbian in our friend group, and at times, she is the odd one out. Then it hit me: the fear I felt about going to the club must be similar to what she has to endure on a regular basis. The way I would feel isolated at the club is the way she feels a lot of the time. I felt really dumb for not recognizing this right away. "Fuck it" I said. "Lets do this."

Overall, the club was a blast. Although I got a bunch of strange looks and glances, we ended up having lots of fun and met a bunch of cool people. My friend and I even got cheered for when when we poll danced and did a striptease on stage. The end.


So, if you couldn't figure them out already, here are the 2 morals of my post:

1. Don't be afraid to try new things. Duh, this one should be obvious. Trying new things can lead you to new and awesome experiences that can probably make you more relatable person down the road.

2. Put yourself in someone elses shoes. This is very important for being a good HF/CA/RA. Think of what it's like to be a resident, an RA, a CA (if you are a HF), and even a HF (if you are a CA). Perspective is key to any good relationship.


~Chris

Summer Blog Sets Sail

No one ever wants to go first, unless of course they are waiting in line for the newest Apple product to be released to the general public. However, Shernell and I are happy to shove off from the dock and send this blog a sailing. In the spirit of the sailing analogy, we felt it was important that the first blog entry set our summer conversation off in the right direction. Everyone knows the winds of the high seas can redirect a boat and cause those aboard to land somewhere unexpected (We hope your participation in this summer-long conversation will be the winds of the high seas). However, before we get to the actual sailing, Shernell and I hope our first entry inspires you to reflect on why you even wanted to step on a boat (sorry this analogy might have worn out its welcome) and become a CA in the first place. The focus of our entry is guiding philosophies. Below, Shernell and I share tidbits of philosophies that guide our practice as Student Affairs professionals. Hopefully this entry encourages you to consider what guides you in your work with others and what inspired you to become a CA. Enjoy~

In college everything I did was about music. I mean…everything was about music for me. I was a radio DJ for three years on our college radio station: KRUI . I hosted a Hip Hop radio show every Friday night from 10pm-1am. The show was named (renamed each year) after my three favorite A Tribe Called Quest albums (can you guess them?). Most of my friends were music heads and the vast majority of our conversations were debates about this band or that hip hop group. My residence hall door was constantly open and my stereo speakers were usually playing my newest album from the local record shop The Record Collector (If you’ve ever seen the John Cusack movie Hi Fidelity you know the kind of record shop I’m talking about).
Music was constantly on my tongue. If I wasn’t singing along with my headphones I was using music as my key to unlock new friendships and make social connections. When I saw someone with a The Roots CD case in their backpack I’d spark up a conversation with them about my favorite Roots album, Things Fall Apart (titled after the book by Chinua Achebe). As an extroverted guy who loves to make new friends, music gave me a reason to introduce myself. Although, instead of extending my hand for a handshake and stating my name like most people do the first time they meet someone, I’d look down and read their T-shirt and ask “Did you see Atmosphere when they were in town last week…Slug was awesome?”

Music is still a key for me today. I remember the first time I met Luther Young, an RA who has been in Scobell House the last two years. It was my second day as a House Fellow and Luther was talking with John Hannon in the Student Development Office. I was waiting to meet with John and as Luther was on his way out of the office he mentioned to John that he was going to see a Ratatat concert that upcoming weekend. I immediately spoke up and told Luther that I love Ratatat. Then I extended my hand (I’ve matured since college) and introduced myself as the new House Fellow for E-Tower.

I have worked to incorporate my love (obsessive love) for music into how I connect with students (and many other people too). This past year I sent out a weekly music quiz (which was about all anyone seemed to read from my weekly emails) and towards the end of the year I created a music blog for E-Tower, which I try to update weekly. With these two small weekly gestures I hope to connect with the residents in E-Tower on a different level. Music has always been personal to me. It is a big part of my identity and certainly my memories. Every time I hear Rocky Racoon by the Beatles I imagine myself cleaning the house I grew up in with my sister and brother. We cleaned every Sunday afternoon while listening to my mother’s records (I mean real records…LPs) and were rewarded with the best family meal of the week.

So…what’s my point? To paraphrase Bela Fleck: Do it Your Own Way. If you hope to craft genuine and meaningful relationships you must first be genuine. Know yourself and know what makes you tick. Use your passions to connect with other and build relationships. Obviously the caveat is that every relationship you build and nurture shouldn't just be about about you and your interests. However, if you use your interests, skills, and passions as a way to connect with others you’ll probably create plenty of connections and learn a lot of cool things along the way.

lucas

As I was driving over to Wheeling, West Virginia this weekend I realized that I promised Lucas (my blogging partner for this week) that I would get a paragraph to him contributing to our CA Training Blog. First of all, I am not a blogger and I don't regularly read blogs, so why I volunteered to be first in this new initiative, I am still trying to figure that one out. I did recently watch the movie Julie & Julia, so I hope that I can recreate a simple recipe for interactive blogging that adds a little bit of spice to my otherwise basic 'blogging' broth.

(Back to driving and reflecting) My mind wondered into thoughts about the CA-HF roles, building house communities, leadership philosophies and styles, and all of the new opportunities that are being developed in our division of student affairs. It's ironic that the conference theme for this event that I was attending was entitled "Mountains of Opportunity." What a great connection to what will be unfolding for us as house communities in the weeks and months ahead! For me personally a few of my 'defining moments' have happened on our near mountain ranges. Whether it was building a school in the Andes Mountains of Peru where I got to witness one of the world's signature glaciers before it ultimately melts because of global warming or when I decided to take a trip with friends to Yellowstone National Park where I paid tribute to my grandfather and his love of nature. I also discovered that you can find a restaurant/bar dedicated to the "Steelers" anywhere-- even at the base of a mountain entrance into Yellowstone! But another such mountain adventure involved West Virginia. I was given the opportunity to take a group of Carnegie Mellon students to McDowell County, WV for an alternate break experience (side note for movie fanatics-check out the movie October Sky this was where the main character grew up). At that time McDowell County was the 6rd poorest area in entire country with the 5th highest child poverty rate in America and one of the lowest levels of educational achievement in the nation. Our service experience was based out of a non-profit group Big Creek People in Action that addressed family, children, and economic concerns. The week long experience changed me forever in so many ways, but more importantly the exposure that I was able to give to this diverse group of CMU students helped me to redefine my approach to service-learning and community impact in so many ways as well. All of the students, especially the international student participates, got to view aspects of America in a very different light and as a group we were able to see poverty in ways that many of us never imagined. But we also got to witness community pride and openness in ways that only these types of meaningful experiences could create. Whether it was while doing manual labor to fix flooring and installing new walls in a family's home or creating the first Multicultural Day experience for a local elementary school, all of us walked away understanding the power of one. One conversation, one moment of sharing of oneself can have powerful impacts. As a leader, we all have these 'defining moments' in our life. They help us in developing our philosophies and motivate us to take on new challenges. What has defined you as a leader? How will this influence your vision for your relationship with your staff? Your residents?

Lastly, I have to connect this back to my recipe. So here are five (5) ingredients for effective leaders:

1. Be courageous enough to shift paradigms and see things differently. Change and flexibly help you to 'move mountains' when there may be a need to do so.

2. Help others to find meaning in what you may ask them to do. By investing in the individual members of your staff, we model for them the process of creating meaningful relationships. And when asked to do something that they may not really want to do, because of the relationship they respect the request.

3. Enable others to Act by Encouraging the Heart! Now this is classic Kouzes and Posner's Leadership Challenge, but my favorite two initiatives. Involvement in the process (vision) helps the individuals you are leading to grow and it demonstrates the level of trust that you have in them to do their jobs well. Now some you may have to "encourage" them to take up the challenge, but when they do they become better leaders because of it.

4. Reward and Recognize Success. A simple "thanks" or praise goes a
long way in continuing to motivate those that you lead. And it ties back to encouraging the heart through recognition.

5. Never be afraid to share of yourself. Your fears. Your trials. Your challenges. But also your joys. Your passions. Your Successes. You are continuously defining yourself and the leadership opportunities that you are given aren't always easy mountains to climb. Isn't it great that you have CA-HF colleagues who can help you along the way as you begin your 'mountains of opportunity' adventures.

Well, I guess the drive to West Virginia was as "wild and wonderful" as they proclaim it to be.

Shernell M. Smith

Check out these cool pics of mountains:
http://www.mongabay.com/images/peru/cuzco/Urubamba_1018_0563.JPG
http://www.visitusa.com/westvirginia/images/spruceknobpic.jpg
http://www.wildnatureimages.com/Yellowstone_National_Park.htm

Book recommendation: Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder

(Effective leaders listing adapted from an article from www.reslife.net by Shawn McGuirk)

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the Comments section below.