Greater than yourself

Hi everyone! It is my turn to try to spark some thoughts and conversation. :)

Some of the things on my mind lately (at least those worthy of sharing) come from a book that I was given at a conference back in December. The fact that I got the book in December and it is less than 200 pages long and I only read it recently is not something I am particularly proud of but, well, life has a way of getting in the way of my reading list from time to time. I digress, back to the book which is called Greater than yourself: The ultimate lesson of true leadership and is written by Steve Farber. To be honest the story in the book is a little on the cheesy side but the concept of the book really has me thinking. The general gist is this: True leadership is about extending and offering yourself to others with the express purpose of elevating that person above you (i.e. greater than yourself or GTY). This may be a little hard to swallow at first but it is an interesting idea to really contemplate so read the sentence again and indulge me.

According to Farber the ultimate act of leadership is not to develop those who will replace us but rather to develop those who will actually surpass our own accomplishments. While this might seem a little threatening at first and may be a little tough on the ego I think this really connects with the work that we do as CAs and HFs (and RAs and faculty and lots of other folks). The book identifies a sort of 3 step progression that serves as a foundation for the GTY philosophy so I’ll describe that here and give you something on which to respond.

The first step in the GTY journey is expanding yourself – how can you help others to expand if you aren’t seeking new knowledge and skills yourself? Ok, so this is something I expect most of us will nod our heads to…life-long learning, intellectual curiosity, try new things, be well rounded…sure, nothing too mind blowing there.

The next step gets a little more difficult though and involves giving of yourself. This is where my selfish meter starting beeping, I’ll be honest. I mean, I’m a busy person and what does this Farber guy really want from me? I try not to be a selfish person but I also don’t want to be a doormat and get used and left behind. If I’m giving and giving to others then who is looking out for me? This is where I think Farber does really nice job in reminding his readers that leadership is NOT a zero sum game and that he isn’t saying give of yourself to the detriment of yourself. Rather he describes his thoughts on personal philanthropy. He says: “Leave the big money contributions to the Gates’ and Buffett’s of the world. The rest of us can give our talent, time, knowledge, contacts – whatever resources we have- to other worthy people in our lives at work and at home. We can act instead of just watching others act…” (p. 123). “To philanthropize your life then first means developing a radar of sorts. It’s about growing your sensibility to the needs of others and cultivating your desire to promote their welfare…their capacity for achievement.” (p. 123-124). Thinking of it this way reminded me that it isn’t like Bill and Melinda are living in poverty just because they are writing checks for millions of dollars…they give what they can give which happens to be a LOT of freaking money but they also still have plenty left for themselves. I need to first take stock of what I have that might be valuable to others (it isn’t money, trust me) and then figure out where best I might be able to invest those resources to help others.

The final phase of the GTY process is the expectation that you replicate the desire to create GTY leaders in others. The people that you are investing in should know, explicitly, that you are invested in their success and that you want them to invest in others. The one thing that you should ask of those that you might be able to help is that they try to do the same for someone else.

Alright, so this is getting long and I want to wrap up but there are a lot of passages in this book that I underlined and dog-eared along the way. Some of those I cited above but here are a few more for you to chew on. I would really love to hear people’s thoughts/criticism/connections/questions so don’t be shy (Ashlie).

“Self expansion is a perpetual enterprise. And because it is the foundation of whatever you do for others, expanding yourself is the furthest thing from selfishness. You expand yourself in order to give yourself to others.” (p. 40).

“I’ve come to see that limited opportunity – at work or anywhere else- is more illusion than reality. An illusion that we perpetuate by believing that success is a zero sum game. Simply put, my helping to launch you ahead of myself does not put me farther behind.” (p. 67).

“You promote another’s welfare by opening up the door to your personal inventory and helping them to make the best use of it. And you’re not donating to a needy person so much as to a worthy person.” (p. 122).

“I’m not trying to hire people who are more talented than I am; I’m trying to hire people with heart, desire, drive and mad potential, and then encourage all of them to bring out the best in one another by giving fully to one another. See the difference?” (p. 126).

“The vast majority of people want to grow, to thrive, to contribute, to make a difference. Those are the people I want to encourage, to cultivate, to build and expand my company around. I’m not going to operate my business based on the lowest common denominator.” (p. 127).

“I’m always looking for someone I can personally invest in, someone who will grow specifically from what I have to offer.” (p. 127).

Ok, so the conclusion for real...Part of the reason that I wanted to share this book and concept with the CA/HF group is because I think these are things that we do but they may not be something that we are really intentional about doing. I have had the privilege of being someone’s “project” on a couple of occasions and I have to say, it was FABULOUS! Feeling like there was someone that I admired who wanted to help me was a great confidence booster and pushed me to be better and do more. I also have a lot of pride in folks that I have made my own “projects” over the years and I know what a great feeling it is to see people discover their potential and achieve great things. I’d be interested in hearing stories from others as well as your thoughts about how we might do these things more intentionally and encourage it in our staffs and house communities.

All the best,

Holly

Farber, S. (2009). Greater than yourself: The ultimate lesson of true leadership. New York: Doubleday.